A Man Not Her Own Page 18

  “Not yet, sweetheart. I want you good and ready when we finally make love.”

  He kissed her hard on the mouth to shush her protests, then kissed his way past her breasts, paying homage to both on the journey down her body.

  Carefully, he removed her panties and tossed them on the floor. She closed her eyes, not really sure what he was going to do. Don’t lie, Sarah girl. You know. She’d read a lot of romance novels, yet Ryan had never—

  “You okay, Sarah?”

  Opening her eyes, her heart melted at the concern in the dark brown depths of his gaze. If she hadn’t already fallen in love with him, the look on his face, the care he was taking, the tenderness of his touch—she’d be a goner, for sure.

  “I’m fine, Mitch. More than fine. You don’t have to... you know.”

  “I want to kiss you everywhere, Sarah Smiles.” He kissed one knee, then the other. “Go with the flow. Don’t hold back. I’m here to catch you when you fall.”

  Not if, but when.

  Mitch gently took hold of Sarah’s hips and kissed his way down her firm belly, licking her navel, kissing lower until he reached her soft sensitive folds, where he nuzzled, kissed and licked. When she gasped, he lifted his head to check on her. She was lying flat on her back, her hands clutching the sheet beneath her.

  “You still with me, Sarah?”

  She didn’t open her eyes. “Yes,” she whispered. “Still with you.”

  Mitch took his time nurturing Sarah’s arousal, teasing her with feather-light licks, blowing the damp skin, holding her thighs apart, kissing them for good measure. Not until Sarah was laboring for breath and writhing on the bed did he ease a finger inside and lick her most sensitive flesh.

  Sarah nearly leaped off the bed as another climax overtook her. A volley of stars cascaded in the darkness behind her closed eyes. Dear God, it was better than before. Mitch kept the rhythm going, stroking her until she drifted back to earth with a deep moan of satisfaction.

  But not total satisfaction. She needed Mitch to fill the empty void—she needed to feel him inside her. “Mitch, please!”

  He reached for the plastic packet on the nightstand and quickly sheathed himself.

  “Now, Mitch!”

  “I’m with you, babe. I’m right here.”

  Sarah opened her eyes and grabbed hold of his shoulders, pulling him down on top of her, bucking her hips, nudging his arousal. “Hurry!”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  He rose over her, their eyes locked, and he’d never seen a woman look as beautiful as Sarah did at this moment. As soon as Mitch plunged inside her warm body, he knew he hadn’t thought this thing through. All his plans to keep it simple with Sarah went up in smoke. His feelings for her were anything but simple.

  Too late to draw back now. He had to see this to the end. Besides, he didn’t have a choice—he couldn’t leave Sarah hanging. She’d climaxed again and needed him to make love to her. She needed him to make them one. Hell, he needed to make them one.

  Oh yeah, this whole thing had backfired on him, all right.

  Mitch fought for control, for emotional distance, but it was no use. His brain shut down and his body took over, pumping in and out, in and out. Sarah wrapped her legs around his waist, bringing him in deeper, harder, closer. And when she stiffened and moaned in pleasure, Mitch gave one final thrust and tumbled into blissful oblivion.

  ****

  Lord have mercy, what had he done? That was Mitch’s first thought when his brain started functioning again. His second was damn, he’d never experienced anything like that before. And he’d had lots of sex. He pushed away the terrifying knowledge that this had been more than sex.

  As soon as he could move, he’d make sure Sarah had survived and wasn’t permanently scarred. He couldn’t believe he’d lost control like that. As soon as he could move...

  “Mitch?”

  The soft whisper halted the beating of his heart. He was still throbbing inside Sarah’s body. Thank God, he’d taken that cold shower. No telling what would have happened if he hadn’t dulled the edge. That thread of a whisper scared the living daylights out of him. If he’d frightened her, he didn’t know what the hell he would do. Hanging would be too good for him.

  With super-human effort, Mitch lifted himself from Sarah’s chest and rested his weight on his elbows. After one brief second of cowardliness, he looked into her eyes.

  Pole-axed didn’t begin to describe the feeling that sucker-punched him in the gut.

  He’d never seen a woman in love before, but knew he was looking at one now. There could be no mistaking the tenderness directed at him from those sleepy, satisfied hazel eyes.

  Hadn’t he read somewhere that women bonded with the men they made love with? Why oh why hadn’t he remembered that sooner? Maybe because it had never mattered before?

  Mitch’s chest constricted. All his careful teaching, nurturing and seducing had boomeranged and come back to bite him in the ass. He was going to hurt Sarah in the end. And God Almighty, he didn’t want to think about how he’d feel when they said their goodbyes. He’d been an idiot to think he was the man to help Sarah overcome her fears. He’d been an idiot to think he could stay detached.

  Sarah reached up and smoothed the hair from his brow. “What are you thinking? Why are you frowning? I disappointed you, didn’t I?”

  “Good God, no. You were wonderful. Perfect.” Mitch kissed her. Tenderly, reverently. Sweet Sarah Smiles deserved someone a whole lot better than he was. Someone who would love her and take care of her and continue to soothe her fears.

  Someone other than Mitch Defalco.

  He eased away and withdrew from Sarah’s body, breaking contact, undecided how he would handle this whole situation. He couldn’t walk away. Hell, he lived next door.

  After he disposed of the condom and Sarah returned from the bathroom, they climbed back in bed and Mitch held her against him, spoon fashion again. She was wiggling, trying to find a comfortable position, her tight little butt bumping against Mitch’s groin. And damn, if he wasn’t getting excited all over again. He clamped his hand on her hip and dragged her closer.

  “This is how it all started a while ago,” he whispered in her ear.

  Sarah peeked over her shoulder at him, her eyes twinkling. “And your point being?”

  Mitch couldn’t resist. He pulled her over onto her back and kissed her. “The point being, I want you again.”

  She cupped both hands on his cheeks. “I want you again, too. Does this mean the lessons are over? Did I pass?”

  “With flying colors. It was good for you, wasn’t it?”

  “It was amazing. I’d like a few more lessons, just to make sure. Do you mind?”

  “Not a bit.” He bent to kiss her again. “I believe you’re ready for the advanced class.”

  “Really?” Sarah’s eyes sparkled in the moonlit room. “I was that good?”

  “Definitely.” He’d probably go to hell for staying the night with Sarah, instead of breaking it off right now, but Mitch didn’t care. All he cared about was the woman in his arms. For a little while longer, he wanted to bask in the warm loving light shining in her beautiful eyes.

  Yeah, he was going to hell, for sure.

  ****

  The week flew by too quickly for Sarah. Everyday, she and Mitch went to work. Every night, they made love in Sarah’s bed and slept in each other’s arms.

  Before she knew it, Sunday was upon them and their weeklong idyll would soon be over. Both Josh and Lindsey were due back home by suppertime.

  Mitch and Sarah spent a good part of their last morning in bed. By the time they finally decided to get up, it was almost noon. Sarah cooked a huge breakfast of eggs, bacon, sausage, gravy and biscuits. Mitch consumed it like he was a starving man. They took their coffee and sat on the back porch, enjoying the sunshine and clear blue skies. They sat together on the glider, Mitch at an angle with Sarah leaning back against his chest.

  Sarah nursed her cup of c
offee, savoring the hot caffeinated jolt to her system. She’d gotten little sleep last night, yet she wasn’t complaining. Mitch’s lovemaking was everything he’d promised. She’d finally seen the fireworks. Finally experienced the earth-shattering orgasms she’d heard so much about.

  A great big bubble of happiness bopped about in her stomach. For the first time in years, Sarah felt a sense of freedom. Like the perpetual layer of fog surrounding her since that terrifying night in college had finally given way to sunshine and roses.

  Mitch kissed the top of her head. “What are you thinking, Sarah Smiles?”

  She dared not tell him. Although they’d made love all weeklong, Mitch had thrown up some sort of wall. To distance himself? To protect himself? Whatever it was, it hurt.

  He’d warned her that he couldn’t give more than a physical relationship. No way could she tell him that she’d lost her heart to him long before they’d made love. And after? She’d lost a piece of her soul as well.

  “Sarah, is something wrong?”

  A knock on the front door saved her from having to answer him.

  “Expecting company?” he asked, taking her coffee cup so she could answer the summons.

  “No. I don’t know who it could be—”

  The doorbell buzzed loudly and the knocking continued.

  “Sounds urgent,” Mitch said. “Want me to go with you?”

  “Stay put. I’ll get rid of whoever it is.” She gave him a quick kiss, then hurried to the front door.

  When she opened it, Sarah found her mother standing on the step. She’d come directly from church.

  “Hello, Mother.”

  Her mother didn’t respond. With a grim set to her mouth, Martha Nicholson looked Sarah up and down, then lifted her chin. “You weren’t in church this morning. Are you sick? Why are you still in your nightgown?”

  Sarah felt the heat rush into her cheeks. “I...uh...overslept.” No way could she tell her mother what she’d been doing. Besides, it wasn’t any of her business.

  “Aren’t you going to ask me in?” Her mother stood there, obviously displeased about something. Surely not because Sarah had missed Sunday services. She attended church in a kind of haphazard fashion and her mother had never commented on it before. Or shown up on her doorstep unannounced, either.

  “Well?” Could her mother’s voice sound any sharper?

  Sarah gripped the doorknob tightly. She didn’t want to invite her mother in. She wanted her to leave, yet she couldn’t be rude. “Come on in.” She held the door open for her mother to enter the living room.

  Martha dropped her purse on the sofa and looked around. Sarah had the distinct impression she was searching for something in particular. Or someone.

  It was Sarah’s turn to lift her chin. “What do you want, Mother? Why are you here?”

  Martha’s eyes narrowed. “Can’t a mother visit her daughter?”

  Not this mother and this daughter. Sarah inhaled a deep breath. “Certainly, but—”

  “I smell coffee.” Martha started for the kitchen.

  “Wait!” Sarah said. “Why don’t you sit down and I’ll bring you a cup.”

  Martha shot her a look, then turned back toward the sofa.

  Sarah rushed to the kitchen. She did not want her mother to see the remains of the cozy breakfast for two. Not that Sarah had anything to hide. She just didn’t want to get into it with her mother about Mitch this morning.

  Grabbing a cup from the cabinet, Sarah wracked her brain on a way to get rid of her mother. She really didn’t care what her mother thought. But still. She poured the coffee and nearly spilled it when her mother spoke from behind her.

  “So it’s true!” Martha said, in fine drama-queen fashion.

  Sarah twirled around. Yep. Her mother was staring at the kitchen table and the empty bowls and dirty plates. Damn, why hadn’t she cleaned up afterwards instead of sitting on the porch with Mitch?

  Play it cool, Sarah. “What’s true?” she asked.

  “Don’t play innocent with me.” Martha pointed to the table. “Clara Harrison was right. You are sleeping with that Mitch Defalco. She’s seen him going back and forth between the houses all week long. She thought something was going on.”

  It was all Sarah could do not to slam the cup down on the counter. She crossed her arms over her chest, trying to still the angry pounding of her heart. “I cannot believe it! Have you set the neighbors to spying on me now?”

  Martha didn’t answer the question, just started in on one of her tirades. “How could you do it, Sarah? Being friendly with the man was bad enough. Exposing Josh to his evil ways even worse. But to sleep with him? The man killed your sister, for heaven’s sake. He’s a murderer.”

  Sarah stared at her mother. She sounded like a crazy woman. Had she finally lost it completely?

  “Mother—”

  “My little Jeanie’s dead,” Martha said with a sob. “Mitch Defalco killed her.”

  Sarah’s ears roared, and she clenched her teeth. She had an inexplicable desire to protect Mitch. How insane. The man didn’t need protection. But for her mother to go on and on about him killing Jeanie... Why couldn’t she put it behind her and move on?

  “Look, Mother. How many times must I tell you, Mitch had nothing to do with Jeanie’s death?”

  “He broke her heart when he left town. You know he did.”

  “You’re wrong,” Sarah said. “Jeanie and Mitch broke up months before he left town. And it didn’t take long for her to find a new boyfriend, or have you forgotten that relevant fact?”

  Her mother sniffed. “If they hadn’t broken up, she would never have gotten involved with that wild bunch of kids. She wouldn’t have gone to that party in Lubbock and gotten caught in the middle of that fight. She wouldn’t be dead!”

  Sarah strove for patience. As a mother, she could empathize with the loss of a child. Yet she couldn’t let her mother make Jeanie into a saint and Mitch into a sinner.

  “Mother, you have no idea how wild Jeanie—”

  “I know what it is,” Martha said, not listening. “You were always jealous of your sister, because she was prettier than you and more popular. You always wanted what she had. That’s why you’re sleeping with Mitch Defalco. Because he was your sister’s boyfriend.”

  Sarah collapsed onto a chair at the table, unable to believe what her mother had just said. She knew they had issues, but how could she say such hateful things?

  Never in a million years, would Sarah talk to Josh like that. She’d never intentionally inflict pain on her son. No matter what he’d said or done.

  Her mother stared at the breakfast remains on the table, then at Sarah. “You disgust me. Sleeping with that man. At least, Jeanie never snuck around behind my back—”

  The roaring in Sarah’s ears grew louder. To hell with patience. “Never snuck around? Good lord, Jeanie was always sneaking around and lying to you. You never wanted to believe it. She could never do wrong in your eyes.” And Sarah could never do right. Still couldn’t, so it would seem.

  “Don’t talk like that about your sister. She’s dead and gone and it’s Mitch Defalco’s fault. And now you’re sleeping with him. Don’t fool yourself if you think he loves you and will marry you. He was a juvenile delinquent and worse. No one can change completely. If you end up with a broken heart and a bad reputation in this town, then it will be nothing more than you deserve—”

  “That’s enough, Mrs. Nicholson.” Mitch pulled open the back screen door and entered the kitchen. He’d been sitting on the porch, listening to the heated exchange between Sarah and her mother, and the more he heard, the angrier he’d become.

  “How dare you come in here without so much as a by your leave,” Martha said. “Get out of my daughter’s house this instant! I don’t know how you can show your evil face to me after what you did to Jeanie and now Sarah.”

  Mitch looked at Sarah, who was staring at her mother like she had two horns growing out of her head. Which wasn’t
much of a stretch, the way the woman was carrying on.

  He crossed the kitchen and stood near Sarah. “This isn’t your house, Mrs. Nicholson. I don’t leave until Sarah tells me to go.” He placed his hand on Sarah’s shoulder and could feel her trembling beneath his fingers.

  Although he agreed with a lot of what Sarah’s mother was saying—he had been a juvenile delinquent and he was probably going to break Sarah’s heart—he couldn’t stand by and let her endure the woman’s crazy ravings alone.

  “I was sorry to hear about Jeanie’s death,” he said. “We had a good time when we dated during our last year in high school. Our break up was a mutual decision.”

  “A likely story, Mitch Defalco. I don’t believe a word of it. You killed my daughter and now you’re sniffing around Sarah.” Martha glared at her daughter. “You’ve made your bed. I hope you don’t regret lying in it.”

  Mitch wanted to strangle the woman. Sarah must have felt him stiffen, because she reached up and clasped his hand, effectively holding him back.

  She stood and laced her fingers with Mitch’s. “I’m sorry you feel this way, Mother. I know how much you miss Jeanie. Losing a child has to be the hardest thing in the world. Why don’t you go on home? You’ve said your piece.”

  Martha Nicholson looked confused, weary and worn down. Mitch thought Jeanie’s death must have unhinged her brain a little. If anything happened to Lindsey, he would probably lose a few marbles, too. But that didn’t give the woman the right to berate her only surviving child.

  Sarah’s mother nodded. “I’ll be off then.”

  “Let me walk you out.” Sarah shook her head when Mitch started to follow. She escorted her mother to the door, grabbing her purse from the sofa on the way and handing it to her. She had to give it one more try.

  “Mother, when Jeanie died, did you ever see a doctor or get counseling to help handle the grief and loss?”

  Martha swung her purse over her shoulder. “I don’t believe in shrinks. I’m over Jeanie’s death. I just don’t want you making the same mistakes. I don’t want to lose you like I lost Jeanie.” She kissed Sarah’s cheek and walked out the door.

  Sarah stood there and watched her get in her car and drive away. She touched her cheek and sighed. Would she ever understand her mother?