A Man Not Her Own Read online

  “It’s not exactly a date.” Sarah hoped Mitch didn’t think it was a date. Although, she did have a proposition to put before him, tonight wasn’t a date in a technical sense.

  “Then what zactly is it?” Josh pushed his plate away and frowned at her. “You’re not going to kiss him or anything yucky, are you?”

  Sarah had to smile. “Nothing yucky. We’re going to talk is all.”

  “Why can’t you talk here?”

  “Hey, JC, want to play a video game?” Lindsey stood, picked up his empty plate and carried it to the sink.

  “Sure!” Josh finished his milk, wiped his mouth on his sleeve and hopped down from his chair. “I’ll go set it up. Bet I can beat you this time.”

  When he ran from the room, Sarah breathed a sigh of relief. She wasn’t ready to answer Josh’s persistent questions. Whatever happened with Mitch, Sarah would have to watch out, for her son and for herself.

  “Thanks for distracting Josh,” Sarah said to Lindsey. “He seems to be having a problem with this. Do you have a problem with me going out with your dad?”

  Lindsey had started for the door, stopped in her tracks and turned to face Sarah. “It doesn’t matter to me what you do with Mitch. Be careful, though. He got my mother pregnant. Don’t do anything stupid.”

  Sarah didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Lindsey sounded like a mother warning her daughter about the consequences of unprotected sex. The trace of bitterness beneath the warning wrung Sarah’s heart. “I won’t, sweetie. Thanks.”

  Lindsey shrugged and when Josh came running back to the kitchen, she let him pull her toward the game room.

  A quick glance at the clock told Sarah she’d better hurry. She only had a few minutes to freshen up.

  Sitting at her vanity, she reapplied her mascara, then dabbed on lipstick. Behind the box of tissue, she spied a bottle of perfume. Since Ryan’s death, Sarah rarely wore perfume.

  Time for a new beginning.

  As if on cue, the doorbell rang. Ack!

  ****

  At seven o’clock, Mitch stood on Sarah’s front porch and rang the bell. He glanced at the swing and his body tightened. An intense yearning rose within him as the vision and feeling of Sarah in his arms exploded in his imagination.

  Or maybe the explosion was the sound of feet stomping toward him from the other side of the door.

  The door swung open and Josh glared at him through the screen. Mitch had rarely seen the boy without a smile on his face—a smile that always reminded him of Sarah’s.

  “Hey, buddy. Want to let me in?”

  Josh shook his head. “Not if you’re going to kiss my mom. Is this a date? Mom says it’s not, but—”

  “Goodness gracious, Josh. Why haven’t you let Mitch in?” Sarah came up behind her son and pushed open the screen door. “Sorry about that.”

  “No problem,” Mitch said, stepping inside the foyer. Josh still eyed him with distrust. The boy made Mitch feel guilty and he hadn’t done anything yet. Yet being the operative word. Because he wanted to do something that went beyond kissing and hugging Josh’s attractive mother.

  Way beyond.

  Sarah put her hands on the boy’s shoulders and kissed the top of his head. “Be good for Lindsey and go to bed when she tells you.”

  “Aw, Mom.” One more glare in Mitch’s direction and Josh disappeared down the hall.

  Mitch frowned. “He doesn’t seem to like the idea of you and me going out.”

  “I think he’s feeling threatened,” she said. “I don’t date much.”

  Mitch’s gut tightened with anticipation. “This is a date?”

  Sarah hunched a shoulder. “Not exactly. Maybe. Are you ready?”

  Oh yeah, he was ready. “Let me say good-bye to Lindsey first. I haven’t seen her since this morning. Then we’re out of here.”

  Sarah stood there with a strange expression on her face.

  “What?” Mitch asked.

  “You’re learning.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean checking on your daughter, saying good-bye before you leave. I think you’re getting the hang of it.” Sarah smiled.

  When Sarah smiled, he found himself smiling back, and the thudding of his heart went right along with it.

  Careful, Defalco.

  He started toward the hall, then stopped and turned around. “You said she’s in the game room?”

  Sarah smiled again. “I’ll show you the way.” She walked past him and he caught a whiff of her perfume. The subtle fragrance beckoned to him, made him want to move closer and breathe deeply.

  He followed her to the back of the house, admiring her rear-end as she moved gracefully in front of him. She wore the same skirt and blouse she’d had on this morning, yet she still looked fresh and clean and pure.

  Something Mitch was not. Definitely not pure in thoughts. Why in the world was he taking sweet Sarah Smiles to dinner?

  She asked you, Defalco.

  And he couldn’t turn her down and disappoint her, especially after kissing her and making her cry.

  Mitch had a bad feeling about this. He wasn’t the sort of man Sarah should be seeing, or kissing. Definitely not kissing.

  In the game room, Lindsey and Josh sat on the carpet in front of the television, game controls in hand, eyes glued to the screen.

  “We’re leaving,” Sarah announced.

  Neither of the kids budged from their identical positions on the floor. Sarah crossed the room and turned off the television.

  “Hey!” Josh said. “Why’d you do that?”

  “We’re about to leave and wanted to tell you both good-bye.”

  Lindsey stood and stretched her legs. “Bye, Mrs. C. Remember what I told you.”

  “I will. Thanks for watching Josh.”

  Lindsey smiled. “Not a prob.”

  Mitch walked closer to his daughter. “You okay with this?”

  Immediately, Lindsey’s smile faded. “Sure, Mitch. Everything’s hunky-dory.”

  When Sarah’s smile faltered, Mitch knew he was failing in the fatherhood department, no matter what she had said earlier. He was disappointing himself, his daughter and now, Sarah. “If you need anything, call.”

  Lindsey shrugged again. “Right. Whatever. Come on, JC. Let’s make some popcorn.”

  “Oh boy! Race you to the kitchen.”

  Both kids ran from the room, leaving Mitch alone with Sarah. Sweet Sarah with a frown on her face. He liked it much better when she smiled.

  “Maybe this isn’t such a good idea,” she said, gazing after the kids.

  Probably not. “They’ll be fine. Let’s get going.”

  Outside, Mitch waited on his motorcycle while Sarah got her purse. She opened her front door, stepped off the porch and looked around for him.

  “Over here,” he called from his driveway.

  Sarah crossed the lawn and stood before him. “I’m not riding that thing.”

  “Aw, come on. Give it a try.”

  She glared at the motorcycle. “It’s not safe.”

  “Hey, I’ve never crashed. I’m a careful driver.” Doubt and apprehension filled her eyes. “Come on, Sarah. We’re not going far.”

  She made no move to come any closer than the edge of the driveway, still staring at the bike. “I’d rather take my car.”

  “What? You don’t trust me?”

  Her eyes snapped to his, the sadness in them so sorrowful, his hands clenched into fists. Her obvious misery made Mitch want to fight off the demons haunting his sweet Sarah.

  Not yours, Defalco. She can never be yours.

  “This is a mistake,” she said. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this.” She turned on her heel.

  “Wait!” Mitch swung off the bike and strode toward her. Sarah stumbled and almost tripped in the grass. He caught her shoulders and righted her fall, quickly releasing her, but not before feeling the slight tremble beneath his fingers.

  “Sarah, what’s wrong?” Mitch stepped in front
of her. “You’re not afraid of me, are you?”

  She hung her head. “I don’t know,” she said so softly he could barely catch the words. “I’m acting worse than the other night. It’s hopeless. I’m hopeless.”

  He caught her shoulders and made her look at him. “You wanted to tell me something over dinner. I want to know what that something is. We’ll take your car. Please, Sarah. Have dinner with me.”

  She smiled at him through eyes filled with tears and gratitude. “Thank you, Mitch.”

  Damn, he didn’t want her gratitude, and he certainly didn’t want her afraid of him. Hell, he didn’t know what he wanted.

  Don’t lie, Defalco. You know exactly what you want.

  Chapter Six

  Conversation hummed all around the crowded Stone Soup Cafe. In the background, the jukebox played an oldie, but goodie: Randy Travis crooning a slow-moving love song. Beautiful words that touched Sarah, making her want things she’d never wanted before.

  Mitch winked and she felt herself blush. Quickly, she turned her attention to the menu, trying to block out the words of the love song and the picture of the sinfully handsome man sitting across from her.

  “Do you know what you want?” he asked.

  No. “I’m still trying to decide.”

  “Take your time. We’re not in any hurry.”

  Sarah nodded. She needed to jump-start her frazzled brain. Good grief, she couldn’t even decide what she wanted to order for dinner. Nor could she decide if she was going to go through with the plans she’d made last night.

  In the darkness of her bedroom with the moonlight slanting in through the curtains, she’d thought she knew what she wanted. Now, sitting across from Mitch Defalco, the reality of executing those plans scared her half to death.

  The waitress walked up to the table and set down their drinks. She took a pad from her apron pocket. “Ready, folks?”

  Mitch ordered a cheeseburger with extra bacon and a side of onion rings. Sarah ordered the same. It didn’t matter anyway, she wouldn’t be eating much because her nerves were shot and her stomach was roiling.

  Mitch sipped his root beer. “You want to tell me what’s bothering you? You might as well get it over with. You’re making me nervous with all this secrecy.”

  Making him nervous? Sarah took a deep breath. “I can’t tell you here.”

  He set his mug on the table. “Then why did you ask me to dinner?”

  “I didn’t think about how many people would be around. I’m sorry. You must think I’m the most scatterbrained person in the whole world.”

  “I don’t think that at all.” Mitch reached for her hand and laced their fingers together. He had beautiful, strong hands. He probably meant to offer comfort. Instead, a sensual heat kindled to life. Dear lord, could she go through with this crazy plan?

  She tried to pull her hand away. He wouldn’t let her.

  “Something’s bothering you, and I think you’re afraid to tell me.”

  Oh dear God, yes. She dragged her eyes away from their entwined fingers. Mitch’s gaze held sympathy and understanding. “I am definitely afraid,” she said, her mouth suddenly going dry.

  He squeezed her fingers, then relaxed his grip, still holding her hand. “I won’t hurt you, Sarah Smiles. I’m not really such a bad guy, once you get to know me.”

  “I never thought you were bad—”

  “Oh, I was bad. Very bad.”

  “Was bad. And now?”

  He still looked bad, even dangerous; yet, he was being surprisingly nice about all of this. Patient, too. Would he still be nice and patient when he knew the worst of it?

  “Now, I’m trying to make up for the past,” he said in a solemn voice.

  “So you’re not the bad boy anymore?”

  Mitch let go of her hands, picked up his cloth napkin and shook in out. “I like to think I’ve changed, but a leopard can’t change his spots, no matter how much he might want to.”

  Hadn’t her mother said something similar? “You’re not a leopard, Mitch.” He was more like a panther. Dangerous. Powerful. Lethal.

  “Here you go.” The waitress set their burger baskets in front of them. “Enjoy. If you need anything, holler.”

  Mitch salted his onion rings. “I feel like I’m still the leopard. I’ve done some pretty bad things in my life.”

  “Like getting Lindsey’s mother pregnant?” Good grief. Why had she said that?

  Mitch set down the saltshaker. “Yeah. Exactly like that.”

  Sarah reached over and touched Mitch’s hand. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sure if you’d known she was pregnant, you would never have abandoned her or your child.”

  Mitch stared at her hand, then looked at her with an odd expression in his dark eyes. “You say that like you mean it.”

  Quickly, Sarah withdrew her hand and picked up her burger. Better to keep her hands to herself or she’d burn up for sure. “I do mean it.”

  “I appreciate that,” he said. “I’m going to get a handle on this father gig, and I intend to make it up to Lindsey for not being there for her.”

  “I know you will,” Sarah said. “It’ll take time though.”

  “Time heals all wounds?” Something in his brown eyes showed that he knew he wasn’t the only one looking for answers.

  “Yes, but sometimes a person needs a little outside help.”

  “Do you need my help, Sarah?”

  Dear lord, yes. The man sitting across the table had changed his life. Could he help her do the same? “I was thinking that you might be able to help me.”

  “You want to tell me about it?”

  “Not here. Let’s eat first. Then we’ll go somewhere to talk.”

  Mitch nodded and picked up his burger. “Whatever you want, Sarah Smiles. Whatever you want.”

  ****

  “Okay, JC, time for bed. Grab the popcorn bowl, will you?” Lindsey gathered the empty glasses from in front of the television and carried them into the kitchen.

  Josh followed, hard on her heels. He dropped the plastic bowl into the sink. “What do you think they’re doing? They have to be finished eating by now.”

  Lindsey sighed. The kid was worried about his mom. He’d asked the same kind of questions all evening long. “I don’t know what they’re doing. Don’t worry about it. Nothing’s going to happen.” She hoped like heck, nothing happened. She’d always worried about her mom, and she hadn’t even liked her. Worrying hadn’t helped anyway.

  “How do you know nothing will happen?” Josh asked.

  “I just know. You want to take a bath?”

  “Nope.”

  “Then go get your pajamas on. We’ll read something. What would you like to read?”

  “I’m not a baby, Lindsey. You’re staying with me. Not really babysitting.”

  Lindsey grinned. “Whatever. It’s nine-thirty and I’m sure it’s way past your bedtime. Don’t give me any lip or I’ll make you sorry.”

  “Oh, I’m so scared.” He made motions like his knees were wobbling, then stopped and frowned harder than ever. “Mom’s never stayed out this late before. Not when she went out the other times.”

  Lindsey turned off the water in the sink. “She’s gone out before?”

  “Twice. Both times, she was home by nine. What could she and your dad be doing?”

  “She said they were going to talk.” Lindsey didn’t like to think what they might be doing. Mrs. C was a nice lady. Trying to raise her little boy. She was probably lonely. Probably missed her husband.

  But why had she gone out with Mitch?

  Mitch didn’t seem to be the kind of man JC’s mom would like. The verdict was still out on whether Lindsey liked him. He was her father, except it was still too weird.

  “Where are they?” Josh whined.

  Oh, man. If the kid started crying, Lindsey didn’t know what she’d do. She had to think of something quick.

  “Tell you what. Go get dressed for bed, then we’
ll watch a movie on the couch. You can show me where the blankets are, and we’ll have a late night movie fest.”

  Josh threw his skinny little arms around Lindsey, almost knocking her over. “Thanks, Lindsey. You’re the best.” He hugged her tight.

  A warm feeling crept into Lindsey’s tummy. Before coming to Stone Creek, hugs had been few and far between. Now, everyone seemed to want to hug her, which was pretty cool. Wrapping her arms around Josh’s scrawny shoulders, she hugged him back with all her might.

  ****

  Dinner seemed to last forever. If Mitch didn’t know better, he’d think Sarah was stalling for time. She’d lingered over her burger, then ordered dessert and coffee. He couldn’t imagine what it was that she wanted to tell him or why she needed his help. And why was she so worried?

  Nothing she could say or do would change the way he thought about her. Felt about her. Whatever she had to tell him, whatever she’d done, it wouldn’t change anything. Hell, he was certainly in no position to cast stones.

  The waitress came around and filled the coffee cups.

  “Bring us the bill,” Mitch said.

  “Got it right here.” She whipped out a ticket from her apron pocket and slapped it on the table. “I’ll take care of it whenever y’all are ready.”

  “We’re ready.” Mitch dug out his wallet and put a credit card on top of the ticket.

  The waitress picked them both up. “I’ll be back in a jiff.”

  “Take your time,” Sarah said, stirring sugar into her third cup of coffee.

  “It’s no good, you know.”

  Her eyes shot up to meet his. The sadness and fear in them smacked him in the gut. He didn’t like seeing Sarah sad and frightened. He wished he could make sure she was always safe and happy.

  Oh, crap. He was getting drawn in too deep. He needed to find his bearings. He couldn’t start anything with Sarah that he couldn’t finish.

  Even if he was a Defalco, like Marco said, he was the worst one of the bunch. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t feel compassion for someone. Or more.

  Mitch bent forward and flicked her nose with his finger. Something he’d done when they were young. As always, she blushed at his touch. He gave into temptation and rubbed the back of his knuckles across her cheek. Her skin was soft and smooth and warm. He rubbed it again. “Whatever it is, Sarah, you can tell me.”