A Man Not Her Own Read online

  She lowered her lashes and nodded. Pushing her cup away, she stood. “Let’s get out of here.”

  ****

  Outside the café, they walked across the parking lot to Sarah’s car, a white Honda Civic. A safe and reliable vehicle. A symbol for her philosophy on life.

  That was about to change.

  Digging her keys out of her purse, she unlocked the doors. Mitch was beside her to open the driver’s side. Right then and there, Sarah made a decision.

  “You want to drive?” She held up the keys. They were standing a foot apart, the night closing in around them. The parking lot was empty for the moment. A cool breeze had started up, whirling around them, catching Sarah’s hair. Even with her new cut, her fine hair was still flyaway soft. Bad hair was her middle name.

  Mitch reached over and brushed a wisp away from her face. His touch was gentle, but electrifying at the same time. She couldn’t read his expression. His eyes were hooded, intense, and focused on her.

  He took the keys and with a hand on her elbow, walked her around to the other side of the car. He opened the door and she climbed in. He returned to the driver’s side, all the while keeping his eyes trained on her through the windshield.

  Sarah couldn’t fault his manners around her. The more she became acquainted with Mitch Defalco, the more intrigued she became, and the more attracted. He should have been the last man on earth to attract her. Funny how things turned out sometimes.

  Mitch started the engine and the Honda hummed to life. “Where to, Sarah Smiles?”

  “I don’t know. Somewhere we can have privacy.”

  He put the car in reverse. “I know the perfect spot. Trust me.”

  “Right.” Trust was something she had a hard time dealing with. Especially with men.

  The lights of Stone Creek receded in the background and soon they were on a lonely stretch of highway, heading west and facing the last vestiges of sunlight in the late evening sky. Another brilliant sunset. Another clear night. Soon, the stars would twinkle like diamonds against the black sky. Sarah never tired of the magnificent display.

  “Where are we going?” She glanced at Mitch’s profile in the dim interior of the car.

  “The canyon up by Coyote River. I haven’t been there in years. I used to go all the time to get away from everything.”

  Sarah leaned back against the headrest. “It’s changed quite a bit since you’ve been away. There’s a dam and a big lake now. And houses and a large hotel. Trevor Callahan built the hotel.”

  “He must be doing well for himself.” Mitch glanced at her, then back at the road.

  “He’s extremely wealthy, yet you’d never know it just to look at him. Anyway, after he married Beth, his company won the bids on a lot of the new construction in and around town. Titan Enterprises built the new library and the new hotel. Stone Creek has grown the last few years.”

  “So I’ve noticed,” Mitch said. “You’ve grown, too, Sarah. You were a kid when I left.”

  She tilted her head toward him. “Lots of things have changed, haven’t they?”

  A muscle jerked in his jaw. “Yeah, but some things can never change.”

  “What do you mean by that?”

  He stretched his neck from side to side. “Nothing. I hope this place is still there. It would be a shame if it was destroyed in the name of urbanization and renewal.”

  He sounded so serious. Sarah laughed.

  “What’s so funny?” he asked, a puzzled look on his face.

  “You are. Using ‘urbanization and renewal’ out here in the middle of nowhere. Those are city slicker words.”

  Mitch shrugged and smiled. “I’ve lived on the West Coast too long.”

  “But you’re back now.” His smile reminded her of the reason she was out here in the middle of nowhere with Mitch Defalco.

  “Yeah, I’m back.”

  Sarah straightened in the seat. “For good?”

  “Forever.”

  Coyote Dam came into view and the new high-rise hotel stood on the far side of the lake. The rows and columns of lights shimmered in reflection on the surface of the smooth water. Houses nestled here and there along the banks of the lake, testimony to the growth in the area.

  Mitch whistled softly. “Man, it has changed.”

  “Change can be good,” Sarah said. Her new mantra.

  “Let’s see if my special place is still intact.” The look he shot her made her stomach tumble. “If not, there are plenty of other places we can park.”

  Park? Sarah hadn’t been in a parked car with a man since college—with very good reason. She knew Mitch wouldn’t hurt her. For some reason, she trusted him. Already, she’d conquered a milestone on her way to getting over the past.

  She’d been enjoying the ride out of town with the darkness creeping in, heading into the beauty of the sunset. Enjoying the conversation and the proximity to the man seated behind the steering wheel, driving her car.

  Baby steps toward a bigger goal; giant steps for Sarah.

  “Here we go.” Mitch turned off the main highway onto a dirt road. They followed the trail through the mesquite trees, climbing upward for a while until they finally came to a clearing and a place to park the car.

  “I’ve never been here before.” She looked at the lake. “This is beautiful.”

  “Yes, it is.” The low tone of his voice made Sarah turn toward him. He wasn’t looking at the water.

  A delicious warmth skittered along her skin and prickled the hair at the nape of her neck.

  Mitch reached under the seat for the lever and pushed back from the steering wheel. “Not exactly the same view as when I was a kid. The dam and lake weren’t here, of course. Only the Coyote River winding its way through the land. It was a pretty sight. I have to admit, this is better.”

  He rolled down the window, turned his body toward Sarah and leaned against the door. “Might as well make ourselves comfortable.”

  Sarah followed suit and they faced each other in the small confines of the car. The scent of his spicy aftershave wafted over to her side and she inhaled deeply. Mitch always smelled good. She’d noticed it when he’d been dating Jeanie, and she definitely noticed it now.

  He crossed his arms against his chest, his biceps straining against the sleeves of his Western-cut, button-down shirt. He’d dressed for their “date,” although he wore his standard jeans and cowboy boots. As usual, his five o’clock shadow darkened his cheeks and chin; only it was more pronounced this late in the evening.

  He looked dangerous and sexy sitting there. Sarah wished with all her heart she didn’t have the issues she’d been dealing with for the past decade or more. She wished she could just enjoy being with Mitch and let nature take its course. She wished he’d take her in his arms again, kiss her like he had... Was it only three nights ago?

  It felt like a lifetime.

  “Are you going to tell me what’s bothering you, Sarah?”

  Did she have to? Couldn’t he just kiss away her fears? She wished he could, but knew better. “I don’t know where to start.”

  “The beginning is usually best.”

  Sarah had only told one other person about what had happened, besides the counselors at the university. When Ryan had asked her to marry him, she’d confessed her deep dark secret. He’d been shocked and angry, but he’d offered comforting words and his gentle support.

  She’d always felt safe with Ryan, but he was gone and was never coming back. Sarah was still young and didn’t want to live alone for the rest of her life. But she couldn’t start another relationship until she’d dealt with her past. Mitch had fought his demons and apparently won. Surely, he could help her do the same.

  He leaned forward, resting his arms on the console. “It can’t be that bad—”

  “You don’t know. You can’t know.”

  “If you don’t tell me, I’ll never know. Tell me, Sarah.”

  She swallowed the lump in her throat. She was taking a big risk. Sarah Coo
per, the woman who always played it safe. It was time to take that leap.

  Mitch reached out and took one of her hands in his strong warm grasp. “Close your eyes if that makes it better.”

  He was being so kind. So sweet. The bad boy didn’t seem so bad anymore. Tears crowded her throat. “It’s hard.”

  “You don’t have to do this, if you’ve changed your mind.”

  Sarah sniffed back the tears and tried to get a grip. “No, I want to tell you. I want your help. I need your help.”

  “I’ll help any way I can, except I have to know what’s wrong first.”

  They sat there for a minute, her hand in his. He rubbed his thumb in circles over her palm. Soothing, yet also arousing.

  Sarah took a deep breath and plunged right in. “I was raped in college. On a date. I didn’t see it coming.”

  Mitch’s hand closed tightly around hers. “Sarah—”

  “I couldn’t stop him. He was big and strong and...” She hung her head and tried not to cry too loudly. This was more difficult than she’d thought it would be. This wasn’t a man who’d asked her to marry him. This wasn’t Ryan.

  This was Mitch Defalco. What in the world had she been thinking?

  ****

  Mitch didn’t know what to do or what to think. He sat there, holding Sarah’s hand while she silently sobbed her heart out.

  Date raped!

  Some slime ball bastard had attacked and abused sweet innocent Sarah? Oh, Christ. Oh, hell. Oh, shit.

  She’d wanted to tell him, and she’d said she wanted his help. Did she want him to beat the crap out of the bastard? Because that’s what Mitch wanted to do. He wanted to track the son of a bitch down and beat him to within an inch of his life, then beat him again, just for the hell of it.

  Sarah pulled her hand from Mitch’s grasp. She looked at him, her eyes brimming with tears. Moonlight shimmered across the lake, lighting the interior of the car enough so he could see the anguish engulfing her.

  “Sarah, I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine... I can’t even think... Hell.”

  He lifted her over the console and pulled her onto his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and cried harder. He smoothed his hand over her hair, holding her against his shoulder, cradling her, trying to offer comfort, feeling wholly inadequate.

  Mitch kissed her head, whispering over and over again that he was sorry. That she’d be all right. She’d survived.

  They sat like that for ten minutes or so. Finally, Sarah sniffed away the last of her tears and raised her head from his shoulder. She hiccoughed and brushed his shoulder with her hand. “I got your shirt wet.”

  “No problem.” He reached in the back pocket of his jeans and brought out a handkerchief. “Here you go.”

  “Thanks.” She dabbed at her eyes and cheeks and wiped her nose. She kept her head down, twisting the handkerchief, not saying anything.

  He kissed the top of her head. “Feel better?”

  She nodded, tried to laugh, but it sounded more like a choked sob. “It happened a long time ago. I thought I was over it. Ryan, my husband, was so good. Then he died, and it’s starting to haunt me again. I’ve gone out a couple of times—”

  “Did they try anything?” Mitch would find their sorry asses and pound them to a pulp if any of them had hurt her.

  She shook her head. “No, but I couldn’t stand for them to touch me or kiss me. Then the other night, you kissed me. And for the first time in a long time, I felt something good.”

  Her words warmed him deep inside. A warmth that had nothing to do with lust. “I felt it, too.”

  Sarah looked at him, her eyes somber. “Then I froze... then panicked. It came on suddenly and I couldn’t control my feelings.”

  “Oh, God.” Mitch tilted back his head and stared at the ceiling of the car. “I shouldn’t have made a move on you.”

  “No, no. It wasn’t your fault,” she said. “You didn’t know. You couldn’t know.”

  “I’m so sorry I made you uncomfortable.” He smoothed a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Her eyes held no fear now. No sign of discomfort or panic. “All I can say in my defense is I got caught up in the kiss. You are one sexy lady.”

  Sarah smiled and it was like sunshine beaming through the darkness. “You think I’m sexy?” Quickly, she ducked her head.

  “Damn, woman. Do you have to ask?”

  She twisted the handkerchief into a tight coil. “Do you...want to kiss me again?”

  Mitch placed a finger beneath her chin, forcing her to look up from the mangled handkerchief. “Do you want me to kiss you again?”

  Sarah slowly nodded. Mitch’s heart pumped harder. “Why do you think I asked you to dinner?” she said softly.

  “You told me you wanted my help, but I don’t know what I can do about this. I’d like to tear the bastard’s head off and stuff it up his... Well, you know.”

  Sarah stared at him. “You would do that for me?”

  “If I could find the bastard, you bet I would.”

  Sarah leaned forward and kissed his cheek, her eyes shining like he was some kind of hero.

  Huh-oh. He was in trouble here. What kind or how deep, it was too early to tell.

  “I do want your help,” Sarah said. “I need your help.”

  The emphasis on her need reminded Mitch what his body sorely needed, but that wasn’t going to happen. That wouldn’t help Sarah. “Name it. I’ll do anything I can.”

  She hesitated and even in the darkness of the car, he saw her cheeks blush red. She bit her lower lip, worrying it with her teeth.

  “What is it, Sarah? You can tell me.”

  She took a deep breath. “I want you to help me get over my fear of men.”

  Mitch felt like a two-ton boulder had crashed on top of his chest. All day, he’d wondered what Sarah might want him to do. None of the scenarios included this. She sat on his lap, her eyes damp with tears, staring at him like he could save her and the world. He couldn’t do it. He shook his head. “I’m not the man to help you get over something like this. Believe me.”

  “Why not? You’ve turned your life around. You’re trying to learn to be a father. I could help you. We can help each other. You’re a good man, Mitch.”

  “No, I’m not. I’d gladly help you with anything else, but I’m the wrong guy for this job. I know it looks like I’ve turned my life around, but it’s a work in progress. I’m sorry, but I can’t do this.”

  “But why?” Sarah asked. “You said you think I’m sexy. You’re obviously attracted to me and I’m attracted to you. You’re the first man I’ve been attracted to since... If you help me, we’d both get something out of it. Please, Mitch?”

  With gut-wrenching regret, Mitch scooted Sarah from his lap over to the passenger seat. “I hate to disappoint you. Really, I do, but there’s no way I could take on that responsibility. I’d end up hurting you more. You have to trust me on this.”

  “I do trust you,” she said. “That’s why I asked for your help. I trust you with all my heart.”

  Mitch turned the key in the ignition and started the car. “I’m sorry, Sarah. I just can’t do it.”

  Chapter Seven

  Sarah couldn’t believe she’d put her heart and soul on the line and revealed her deepest darkest secret to Mitch Defalco. She felt totally humiliated and angry and sad.

  She’d put on a good face when she’d walked in the house last night. Even with Mitch standing right behind her. And though he’d dashed her hopes, that jolt of electricity still buzzed between them. Damn him.

  Yes, all in all, she’d pulled herself together when he’d taken her home. A miracle, considering she’d lost her one chance to exorcise her demons. Mitch had followed her into the living room. Josh had been asleep on the couch with Lindsey sitting close by, watching a movie.

  Sarah had avoided Lindsey’s close scrutiny, glad the lights were dim, because she was sure her eyes were still puffy and red from crying. She’d herded Lindsey and her father
out the door, not making eye contact with Mitch or his daughter. After locking up, she’d left Josh on the couch. She couldn’t deal with her son’s questions after the emotional storm she’d been through with Mitch, the emotional turmoil still churning inside.

  This morning, she hadn’t wanted to get out of bed, except she didn’t have a choice. Breakfast had to be made. Josh had to be taken to school. Luckily, he’d been quiet during their usual morning routine. She hoped he wasn’t coming down with something.

  At The Music Shoppe, Sarah started the morning off sorting a new shipment of sheet music. She was up to her elbows in Mozart and Haydn when the door opened and her mother walked in.

  Oh great. Just what she needed.

  Sarah forced a smile. “Hello, Mother. What brings you to town so early on Tuesday morning? Lunchtime isn’t for another two hours, and I thought Dad would be coming with you.”

  “We won’t be having lunch today.” Martha Nicholson looked none too pleased. She crossed the shop and clunked her purse on the counter. “I’d like to know why you were having dinner last night with that man!”

  Oh, dear lord. Sarah had been wondering the same thing all morning. She did not want to get into this with her mother. She was a grown woman trying to get over a traumatic experience in her past so she could move on and enjoy grown woman things.

  Like love and sex.

  There, she’d finally admitted it to herself. Sarah wanted to experience sex as it was meant to be. Mind blowing, fireworks-shooting, awesome-in-its-intensity, earth-shattering sex. And she wanted it to be with Mitch Defalco, bad boy extraordinaire. If the kiss they’d shared was any indication, then Mitch was the man to show Sarah the way. Except he’d point blank refused to help her. Damn the man.

  “Well?” her mother asked. “Are you going to answer me? Why were you out with Mitch Defalco?”

  A little devil tempted her to say she intended to get naked with the man, but the good girl rose to the surface and nixed that naughty thought.

  “I was being neighborly. And I’m helping him with his daughter.”